Goddamn I can be an Emo Bitch

Time to put a spring back in my step, interfags! I'm talkin' bout that lovely season of regrowth, greenery, and copious fucking by both plants and animals! Allergies, bees, and picnics! SPRING! Spring is the time when everything in Arizona grows for a week, then wilts under the heat of an uninhibited and vengeful sun for 5 months! Spring in Arizona accounts for hundreds of weeds worming up through the gravel in my yard and costing me time and money in maintaining their absence! Also, return of motherfucking crickets in my house! They will stop at nothing to shove their squishy, noisy, jumpy little insect bodies into any highly conspicuous spot, especially in the drain of my shower! Ah, spring, you artist with a well of fathomless talent, decorating one side of my house in pigeon shit, egg shells, and blood-caked dead baby birds turned cat toys. The most wonderful time of the year, truly.